The Most Amazing Dogwalking Experience

by ~Corny63, May 13, 2009, 6:09:55 PM
Journals / Personal

Mood: Llama
Watching: A Clockwork Orange

I walk my dog nearly every day. I've discovered that not only is this a fine source of well-needed exercise, but also a very entertaining sport. Often I come home thinking "wow I should make a webcomic about these dog walks. crazy shit seems to happen whenever frankie and I go out!" I think in all lowercase, but that is not the point.

Today it is Dogwalk Theater, and you are all invited. Also this is the last sentence in which I try to be fancy with my languge. It's real talk now.

So I'm walking down the street with the dog, and I hear loud music coming from behind me. Y'know, the heavy beats when somebody blasts the radio in their car? In my mind I entertain the notion that it'd be the stereotypical black guy in a car with hydraulics, and he'd stop and make his car do those fancy lifty-tricks. Like in all the movies and stuff.

As it passes me I glance over, and there's this blonde mid-20's guy driving it. He looked sort of like the tall sknny blonde guy from Mega64 [link] only with shorter hair and I think he'd shaved. As he drives by, he sticks his arm and head out the window and looks back at me. He was going to catcall me. I could see it in his eyes. But then his face changed to a look of "ohshit". He realized I was fourteen and ducked back into the car and drove away. I could not stop laughing. I hope that I ruined his life by being a minor.

Now for the little extra bit of amazingness.

I've walked all the way down the street and turn the corner. The dog starts sniffing a bush and I think nothing of it. I stop walking and look over at him. I notice something gray sticking out of the bush. At first, I think it is a rock. Then I notice it's furry. I look a bit further up the little gray thing and see feet and I realized that it was a dead squirrel's tail and ass just sticking out of the bush. I think that was the first time I've ever yelled "HOOOOOOLY SHIT" out in public. It really did scare the shit out of me to see a dead rodent just in a bush. I plan to investigate it further tomorrow, provided it's still there when I walk the dog.

So yeah, that was my dogwalking experience of the day.

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